Is anyone really happy?


It’s really philosophical to say “live in the moment”. Or maybe say “Be happy with what you have”. You really don’t need another pen or phone or laptop or game or a life partner or a life. Just “be happy with what you have”.

I have heard this so many times. Hence, I decided to use it twice in the above paragraph. Seriously, if everyone was truly happy with what they have, would the world progress?

I agree that we should never aim for something that is beyond our reach. But if we don’t, will we ever take the next step in the right direction towards it? Will we learn from mistakes if we don’t make them at all?

If the child demands a mobile instead of a toy, I think we should grant it. Who knows maybe he/she just might design the next super-hit mobile app! That’s what it can lead to. But yes it can lead to a whole lot of negative impact too. Hence, handover the mobile along with a set of instructions or rules. Make a mistake!

If the child demands a break from studies and you deny it, he/she goes back to studies but nothing will ever get through into the brains. After an ample break and rest, the kid might just be able to learn better. Maybe take in more info in 15 minutes, than he/she would have done in an hour. But of course, never let them make a habit of it. Time lost never comes back.

Whatever it is that we do as parents, it is bound to go unnoticed. Unless of course if you sacrifice your entire life just for their well being. But these days, this doesn’t actually apply. Parents bring up kids and try and enjoy a life too. Hence no regrets when the kids fly off after graduation, job or marriage.

Live and let live. Try and understand what they are trying to say. Give them the benefit of the doubt. Give them a chance to make mistakes of their own. How often have you heard parents talk about their children this way?

Children are people too. Although I agree that they are what we make them to a certain extent, I also believe that children should be left to make their own choices. Even if we know the potential danger in them, all we can do is give them the wisdom of our experiences and stand by.

So am I happy in my skin? No. I need to lose weight. I need to find something productive (read make money) to do with my time. I need to make friends. I need to go out and enjoy myself. Maybe share a drink or two with pals. Chat about world issues and not bother about what happens in my house!

My health is not what it should be. The other day, at the ICU, the doc says, “Your risk factor is really low, since no one in your family has had heart issues and since all your tests came out negative and also because you are a woman. The blood count is high and the ECG had slight irregularities. But there is nothing to worry. Your risk factor is only your weight.” And for this professional advice I had to pay the hospital 4000 AED. Just looking at the bill I would have had a heart attack. I am glad the hubby was not around to see that bill. I was admitted because I had shortness of breath and I had chest pains for almost a week prior to that. I couldn’t speak and the mom and sis insisted I get a check up done. I have decided now that I will not go to a doctor until and unless I am on a stretcher. I have lost faith in the lot. They prescribed painkillers and antibiotics (I have no infection) and I have follow up appointments tomorrow. Which I am not going to go for! Who cares any more!

How difficult can it be to live in the moment, you ask? It’s very difficult! If you are a parent, you are always second-guessing your decisions. You are analyzing your previous decisions for any mistakes committed or error in judgment and you are apprehensive of what your kids are learning from you, the school and the media. Raising kids is never a problem. Raising socially responsible kids is the challenge. In this ever changing world, the criteria with which I grew up and unknowingly which I am passing on to my kids, is totally outdated. So I am constantly checking and double-checking everything I do.

I am a cool mom. No, no, don’t smile. I really am! I have given the freedom to my kids to tell me to shut up if I don’t make any sense to them. They have no respect whatsoever for my age, because I act their age most of the time. And they have no value for anything I say. But at the end of the day, they come back to say sorry and give me tight hugs and make me want to cry my heart out. That I guess is totally worth the heartaches (and the shortness of breath).

Will they become responsible adults? I do not know. Will I live long enough to see that they do? I don’t know about that either. But I do know that this is what I call living in the moment. I might not be the best mom in the world, I might not cook them the best of dishes or dress them up perfectly for every occasion and I may not fuss over them, as I should. But I know at the end of the day, that I have done a reasonably good job of bringing them up and for that I shall be forever grateful to God.

So ,yes, I guess I am happy. Are you?


20 thoughts on “Is anyone really happy?

  1. Loved your post! Being a mother I felt you spoke my words, read my mind. “…. I grew up and unknowingly which I am passing on to my kids, is totally outdated. So I am constantly checking and double-checking everything I do.” How true! I do it too. A beautiful expression Juxta. Yes, be happy and I'm sure so much love and care from a wonderful mom can not but bring in positive results. God bless.


  2. Very!Once Sharon asked why I look worried. I answered I was worried how they would turn out in the future. Her quick response was, “Don't worry about that Mommy. We will turn out just fine becuase we have got you for our parents” From a stubborn ten year old I didn't honestly expect that but of course it felt so good to hear that.Let us not worry really. They will be fine; and so will we be!Take care of your health – that is the ultimate for “happiness” in life.


  3. hmmm. I wonder the same. Is anyone really happy? And, of course, live in the moment only works in the movies. How can we be very carefree when we have to provide for the family and kid's education.


  4. wt problem:).just the other day doctor termed me obese and I was life be it children or marriage, its all gamble, so my mantra is do your duty, be righteous and leave the rest to god:)


  5. It really feels good when kids understand us. 🙂 I actually went in for the follow up(since it was free). I have to go back in two months for more tests after losing weight. 🙂 And I have 6 more tabs to have daily now. I am SO happy. I rather it ended in one short than this slow torture!


  6. It's impossible to so when you are a parent. Would the three heroes of “Zindagi Na milegi dobbhara” play with bulls if they had a daughter or son waiting for them at home? I don't think So!!


  7. Yeah. I have to go back in two months after losing weight. So its rigorous walking from now on! Thank God its winter here. 🙂 God has already done his part in my life. I guess He has given up on me to take care of others. It sure seems that way these days. 🙂


  8. Liked your ramblking post covering many things.As a mom you seem to do well, a modern mom.A guided freedom is perhaps the strategy you are employing.I am glad that all is well except the perennial weight problem for most women.Apart from walking, what an eminent Homoeopathic doctor suggested was being on green vegetable diet atleast filling 50% of stomach.Ofcourse boiled with salt and slight seasoning.


  9. as you said it is a bot of a phylosophical term.. lot of it COMMON sense .. which by the way is not the very COMMON in todays world. We all want a lot of things but not ready t owork for it .. and when we dont get it we moan .. if someone gives it to us we consider it happiness but then we forget that yes we have it But to maintain it we got to work again 🙂 so ot me if end of the day , you can put your head on the pillow and go to sleep soundly.. and dream of whatever your dream of … That to me is happiness 🙂 Bikram's


  10. Well said Bikram. I guess its true. But sleep is a necessity in life. I agree on the dreams though. If you are able to go to sleep with a smile and wake up with one too, you are truly happy. 🙂


  11. Hi Jyothi,I have gone through all the things mentioned here and even more, but i always found time for myself, done things I enjoy, and also let my family do what they like. I knew that a time would come when my children would know what is best for them without my interfering. I have never been the type of mom who is more interested in finding out what projects the school is giving my children and how i can help them do it. I always told them not to study and worry about anything and just take breaks whenever they felt like, and generally relax. In this my husband, too has similar feelings, so the children grew up with no interference from us and they have done well all by themselves.As for health issues, despite my doing things right,I have had quite a few pitfalls, but it is okay, it also taught me how to overcome them and spring back again. One must look at the negatives in our lives, and turn them into positives, it is only then can one be happy, for we cannot be running after happiness, for happiness is right within us, and once we realize that we would never need to be running after it.I am sure initially you might be depressed by what is happening in your life , but soon you would find a way to set them, and you would be very happy. Weight is not a big problem, you can get over this if you set your priorities right, and once that is done you are sure to be free and very happy, that life provided you with the opportunity to do so.


  12. Hmm… I shall lose the weight. I have done it before and its never a prob. It's good that your hubby too has the same feelings. I had to force this on mine. :)I wish I had a medium like this when the kids were really small. I have a feeling I wouldn't have lived with so much self pity ,if I had known that there are other people out there who feel and go through the same stuff. From what I see around me, everyone has a perfect family with no issues and everything is hunky- dory. No one tells you that nothing comes easy in life. And no one tells you that its ok to be imperfect. That its ok to make mistakes. Happiness is from within…. this I am going to make into a post. My feelings on this one, that is. 🙂


  13. your last comment sums it up all so well. yes we do feel weighed down by so many doubts and misgivings, and it eases when we know that its not just me. Qualms about bringing up children, never ever ceases I guess. Have we done right, have we done enough?! But that is all a part of parenthood, the turmoils and joys, the insecurities and upheavals, part and parcel of life! Yes, were all in the same boat! 🙂


  14. Thank you Vaidegi. I can't tell you how good it feels to hear people say that. Some people are ever ready to judge us. Even if its our parents. I understood from Renu's post a few mins ago, its not acceptable to live as an individual until you have done all your duties and are free from responsibilities. But will we ever be free from these! I wonder! 😦


  15. That was a lovely, introspecting post Jyothi…..everybody who reads this will definitely identify with some part of it.Ur symtoms sound quite alarming & u say u walked around with it esp chest pains for a week b4 going to the doctor;-o.I wish u lived somewhere close to my place…we cd have gone for walks & beat the fat together:-)


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