There are days that make me want to cry my heart out. I feel like the world is going to end today and everything and anything that I claim is mine will no longer be so. Is this just my selfishness or is it just a temporary state of insanity. At these times I feel like reaching out to all those dear to me and giving them a tight hug cause there is no guarantee that there will be a tomorrow.
Then things change, reality hits and one day blends into another as unassumingly as always. Nothing changes. People do what they do to go about their daily lives making you feel as miniscule as you felt the day before the anxiety attack.
At times I wonder if it is possible to stay in that perplexed and anxious state. A state that makes me aware of what’s important and what’s not. What matters and what doesn’t is a hard thing to decide. Especially if you really aren’t sure what or who in this world you can claim as yours. There is no guarantee for any relationship in this world. Even the one that mother has with her child. Children grow up and spread their wings only to leave you as a miniscule part of their lives. Just like our parents are to us now. I know many will try and disagree that they do everything for their parents as they should. But its always ideal to ask the parents themselves if they agree to this or not.
Expectations lead to anxiety and then the anxiety makes you realize that life is worth so much more. It’s a vicious cycle. One that man has no escape from. A day off from the routine, a movie, a drink, a party or maybe just some alone time, these are many ways to tackle this situation. And tackle we must, cause yet another day awaits after this dark night. Yet another happy thought will come and erase all that worries us today.
I guess hope keeps life going. If we feel content with what we have then life ends there. There is always a need for more of everything. And the most longed for thing in this world is love. It is also something that doesn’t cost much. Issues arise only when you expect something in return. How much ever we try we always end up expecting something in return for our love.
I wish being selfless was a common trait. But I realize now that it’s a very special boon indeed. It doesn’t come into the common man. And I am as common as it gets!
If any of you are wondering what happened to the visa issues that I had for almost 4 months. Well, it’s all sorted out now. Things are back to normal again. Not actually completely normal. There is a slight change, I managed to fulfill my dream of starting a company. For a year at least I am the proud owner of a business. Whether it will work out or not, I do not know. But I know that at least I tried. Thats one dream crossed out from my “Must do before I die” list.
Thanks for being there for me and for the support I got from here. Hugs to all and keep smiling. Things always work out well. And I am a prime example of it!