No one said that life was going to be easy. If there is something that I have learnt in this life it is the fact that our life is not just ours alone.
The thought that a person can live a life all by themselves with no help and support from anyone is a misconception. You may be employed, you may be well paid, you may have a home and you may be financially settled. But monetary issues are not what I am talking about here. I am talking about the psychological issues.
I have come across a lot of people who discuss mental torture and physical torture and how all that is an outcome of the Patriarchal society. And I completely agree with that. Just like any girl who gets into a marriage and even though she knows what she is getting into , she is never actually prepared to face it. Same goes for the boy too. How is he supposed to know how to be a perfect husband, just because he has a wife now!
Marriage , whether arranged or love, always demands a lot of adjustments. People are not tied down to a home environment, they have to create a new environment for themselves. One that includes interests of both the parties involved. It will take time to create such an environment. Time and a whole lot of effort too. Nothing comes easy in life and everything good is always worth fighting for.
I am a true romantic at heart. And that leaves me at an advantage because though I am vulnerable to pain and hurt, I am also game for the pure bliss that love is. Love is not surprise Birthday Parties and Gifts. Love is not spending hours talking to each other over the phone or otherwise. Love is not about spending every waking and sleeping moments together. It is about a feeling of security and attachment. The tinge of jealousy we feel when someone else talks/spends time with our better half. The glow that comes on the face just by thinking about that someone. The concerned eyes that search for the reasons of our depression. The supporting arms that hold us when we cry. The absence and the forgotten dates which are always made up with small gestures of love and passion whenever possible. These are more than what anyone needs to live happily.
I believe we shouldn’t let all this go away just because there are certain things about the other person that we cannot tolerate. Have you thought that there could be things like that about you that he/she can’t tolerate either? Love is about understanding those flaws and caring for each other inspite of these.
Even though I am well over the age of talking and writing about love, I do believe that in this world where every man is being viewed as a villain and every woman as an angel, we need to understand that among these, there are passionate lovers, doting fathers, blood thirsty vamps and vengeful MILs too. True love or a meaningful life is all about finding the lover in you. And believe me it is there in all of us, we just need to make sure that we find it in time. Life is too short to hold grudges and too long to be lived alone.
Disclaimer: I am not talking about staying in abusive relationships, I am talking about giving every relationship a chance and about considering making some changes and moving ahead like adults should , if there is a possibility to do so!