If Only…..


She sat there numb. Not ready to accept what she had read. “How can this be?”, she thought. “How can this happen?”. Still in denial of the what she had just discovered. Riya was not ready to let go of the only binding factor in her marriage, trust.

Riya knew that her dreams of a fairy tale “happily ever after” were doomed, the day she decided to give in to her parents wishes. She was too young to be able to understand the consequence of her choice, and too scared to even consider the alternative. It is not simply said that only the bold have luck in love. It is now a proven fact for her.

Riya made it through the first two years of marriage with ease. Shyam was not a difficult person to fall in love with. Add to it the fact that he was head over heels in love with her. She was happy at least for that much of a blessing in her life. She could learn to love him eventually , she thought. She needed time, her heart needed mending. No one else was aware of this turmoil in her heart. Not even Shyam. She was not ready to confide in him as yet. She never expected Shyam to be patient and understanding, but he was. He had sensed the distance she was maintaining with him. Yet he wanted a way into her heart. Riya was in no position to let that happen. She was not ready, not yet. Healing process takes time.

Those emails her husband shared with someone else in his life were staring back at her now. Yet she found it difficult to believe that Shyam had an online life that she knew nothing about. She was late again. She wasn’t bold in love again and he was slowly shutting her out.

She woke up from her trance when her three month old daughter cried in her crib. She went into the bedroom to pick her up. There , as she nursed her child, in that fancy rocking chair that Shyam had bought for her just a few days ago, tears rolled down her eyes for the first time since her first heartbreak . She was alone yet again, if only she had been bold enough to accept that she was in love with Shyam. If only Shyam had waited for her to come through. If only, if only….

**Yet another attempt at fiction- The previous two attempts are here. **

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20 thoughts on “If Only…..

  1. Beautifully written though it was not clear why she withheld her love for him despite Shyam loving her and was patient.Did she not drive him away to someone else thankfully online.She can mend her ways and bring him back to her fold.The baby is a bonding factor
    Ina few words you have created a nice story.Keep them coming


    • I have read it. In fact I was the first one to comment there. And I read it soon after I read your letter to your blogger self. I guess we are all obsessed with double life on the Internet and in real. πŸ™‚


  2. Beautiful story…you have said so much in so little–it is packed with irony and pain for modern lives and the modern landscape of marriage…very well written (I would not advice series–I like the crispness of this story)


  3. So you finally found something to write about. πŸ™‚ I am referrring to the earlier post where in you had written about what you could write about πŸ˜€
    Good attempt Jyothi, I could feel her pain…..


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