You might want to read the previous chapters of Falling Apart before reading this chapter.
Maintaining a distance is hard. Especially when you work together at the same office. But this problem would be solved after two months, when she was due to get back home to Dubai. But she did try. Shreya avoided the coffee breaks at Cafe Coffee Day with Ravin. They had begun to spend so much time there together that everyone working there knew them by name. They knew what they would order. She missed those fun times.
The job and this project in particular began to feel like a burden suddenly. She wanted to get back to Dubai as soon as possible. Even though she tried not to make it obvious , she missed spending time with Ravin. This thought brought a fear in her. She was not the kind to keep things from the people she cares about. She was as open as she could be to everyone in her family. But this feeling was something that she couldn’t share with anyone. Except maybe with Ravin himself.
Ravin obviously would start to feel this distance. And she was sure he would confront her at some point. What would she say to him then? For all she knows all of these were assumptions. What if Ravin doesn’t even notice the difference? What if it was just friendship after all? Was she giving up such a great friendship only because her husband thought that Ravin might be in love with her?
She knew this undecided state that she was in would take its toll on her. She suddenly felt anger towards Nayan. Ravin was the only solace she had here in Bangalore. Between a grieving mom and demanding work, she needed Ravin’s friendship to go on. Her dependence on Ravin and it’s reason was suddenly clear to her.
She called up and invited Ravin for a coffee at Cafe Coffee Day one more time. She had to bring it out into the open. She needed to know the truth. She owed at least that much to a 5 year friendship. Was is it just her feeling? Did she just hear a sense of relief in Ravin’s voice?
Shreya had been love with Nayan since she had met him for the first time during one of her evening walks. Their relationship was perfect in every sense of the word. Same caste , same language, perfect age and both working in a foreign land. To top it all they were more or less alone by themselves. Was her love and hence her marriage a matter of convenience?
She brushed off such thoughts from her mind. She had three children and 11 wonderful years with Nayan. How could she even think like this? She was very much in love with Nayan and her family. But why does she have to let go of her friendship with Ravin if there was no reason to? She trusted Nayan completely. Nayan needs to trust her too. Her thoughts about her family suddenly brought tears to her eyes. She missed them so much.
She needed to clear things with Ravin soon. She dreaded having the conversation. But there is no running away from this anymore. She had just recovered from a loss. She wasn’t ready to lose someone ,whom she had grown so fond of, based on only doubts.
To be Continued……