Being Hurt


Being hurt is a sign of being human. Maturity should not take that from us.


When we are in a situation that has no solution, what can we do? 

I saw an ad recently issued in public interest about men and crying. It seems it  is something that has been grilled into boys for generations. 

Boys don’t cry!  Ladke rote nahi hai!

My first born is a boy and oh boy , the way he cried just after birth. His cries have kept me awake for nights together when he had the hernia and he couldn’t express what was hurting him. 

My husband cried the day our son was born. He cries when he sees any of us in pain. It’s a natural feeling to be hurt or to cry. Gender has nothing to do with it. Neither does age or maturity. 

It’s all about how much of a human we are. The daughter and I are a bit too human that way. Some insensitive people call us “too” sensitive. We are proud of it though! And no, we were not “taught” to cry because we are women. 

Yes, I am hurt. I am not embarrassed to express it. My life isn’t what I wanted it to be. I am not all what I could have been. 

I never thought being a mother would make me want to not want anything more in life. But it did. Even though it hurt every step of the way. The hurt of seeing my children grow. The hurt of them preparing to start a new life. The hurt of the first few harsh words that teenagers use. I have been there , done that and I have a few grey hairs and wrinkles to prove it. 

I see pregnant ladies in parks and malls and wonder if they have any idea how dramatically their life is going to change. The second child adds to that equation, the complexity of being “fair” and of equality. It never a ends, the battle against hurt. Yet we embrace each new hurt with a smiling face. We are only human. Humans that need love, care, understanding and a reason to continue living.

Laugh when you feel happy, cry when emotions overwhelm you.

That’s what life is all about. The simple essence of it. The essence of being ourselves. About being open to hurt and gaining the ability to overcome that pain. We mature, we learn, we grow. 


8 thoughts on “Being Hurt

  1. Very true. Tears are ageless and have nothing to do with gender. I used the change the channel when that ad came. It was issued in public interest, but wasn’t that interesting to me. I like the post, Jyo. Just says, “be human”. 🙂


    • It definitely was a strong and depressing ad. I hope it puts some sense into people who still try and instill such stupidity into children! Being human is good enough for me. 🙂


  2. So true so true..I can vouch tears got nothing to do with gender.. We all have a heart a mind and emotions and we all react differently to everything. .

    And no boys cry tooo and it is very HUMAN to do so..


    • The ad is about domestic violence, people who keep their anger and feelings in end up hurting others to soothe themselves. This is a bad trait in any person, not just men!

      I am glad you agree… 🙂


  3. How can these ads me issued in public interest? Even before kids discriminate themselves as girl/boy, we are giving them all the wrong ideas. Emotions are human bound… girl or boy… express your emotions when you feel like. I prefer a man who is not ashamed to let his tears down… I think, that makes him more human.

    Loved your post. ❤


    • This ad was about how such boys end up using domestic violence to vent their anger and frustrations. It is true , I guess. But it is high time that people stopped instilling such stupidity in children. Some people do it without even realizing it, because it is instilled in us. Men don’t cry and women cry too much! 🙂


  4. By saying boys should not shed tears we are stereotyping genders. Every human has to display the emotions that he feels. Why stop a boy from crying? Is he not a human. Well done Jyothi to highlight this delicate issue.


  5. It is change in the mindset over generations that has brought us to understand the stupidity of such statements. May we progress more in this field. We are humans first!

    Thank you Kalplana. 🙂


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