All in a day’s work


“So this is it! I have to let go!”

I am pretty sure everyone would have experienced this feeling at some point in life. Many may not have said it out loud or even to themselves. But the feeling is very common. The realization that there is nothing more you can do…

At times, this is the most painful feeling. Especially when the realization hits us on the face so abruptly that we get no time to let the feeling sink in slowly. A state of shock or sadness follows this. These are the kind of problems that have no options left to compromise with.

At other times, it has been long time coming and we took our time to let it sink in. At these times, this feeling is a sense of relief. It is not all about perspective, I guess. It is more about how time heals every wound. “Ripping off the tape with one pull” theory rarely works well with emotions. These need to be sorted out. Every aspect of it dissected and examined until it gets accepted and cleared.

Over thinking a problem is the cause of most cases of depression. But not thinking about a problem doesn’t make it go away either. They just go back into hibernation only to come back again  and hit us on the face so hard that we lose our senses. And there is no escape!

I am at one such crossroad now. The biggest irony of my situation now is that I do not know which category this belongs to. Was it abrupt or was it long time coming?  I hope to find out soon. Both recovery will be equally painful though. The emotions are so strong that they need to be sorted out slowly. But the emotions are so strong that there is fear of a relapse during the process. Tough times these are.

Which brings me back into blogging after ages. I have lots to say. I have lots to share. Not sure where to begin. Let’s just say that I am going through the Empty Nest Syndrome. And, as I have sadly discovered myself, one of the main side effects of this syndrome is too much time to overthink. The past has been running a marathon in my mind for the last  two months since the syndrome began. That’s more than four decades of my roller coaster of a life. Imagine the clutter and the chaos. Declutter and orgainze. That’s the plan. I am doing it the only way I know. One blog post at a time…


It has been a while…


My blog tells me that it has been 5 months since I wrote something here. I guess it is time to start writing again. If only planning to write , wanting to write and writing were all easy to do as they used to be.

Collecting thoughts and putting them down on paper (ahem) isn’t easy anymore. There is so much to say, so much I should not say and so much more that should have been said a long time ago. 

But one has to restart somewhere. Let it be now and let it be here. At the moment that I am still sad that my first born is not at home anymore , yet happy and proud of the man he has turned out to be. He has flown the coop . He is happy at a college in the US. This moment is precious to me. I just realized he misses home. I also just realized how selfish I am!

Let the feeling sink in, I keep telling myself. It hasn’t yet. He is still a child. He still behaves the same. He still is the same. I know it is wishful thinking to hope that he will always remains the same.

I started blogging when my kids were small and blogged through their teenage. In this new phase as a college mom, I am not sure what to blog about anymore. Until I figure out what to write about, I am leaving you with something that’s close to my heart these days :

Missing someone is bad enough, but being missed feels even worse…

Value Education

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The day started off on a slow note today. I have answer papers to correct from yesterday’s Unit Test. It is a subject that I teach besides my main subject. I also teach Value Education to a bunch of Sixth graders.

This particular subject is the most hated by teachers in the school. The amount of work that goes into making worksheets and test papers for this is not much. But then again, it is a bit too much when you are already loaded with so much work. Sometimes work other than the teaching part of the job.

Like in any job, in teaching too, it is the documentation or what we call as “Evidence” that matters. There is written or photographic proof of everything we do in class and for a class. This is so as to avoid issues later on in the session, when a particular task is questioned and explanations asked. Basically it is about being accountable.

Now in an office environment, this is an easy task. Every communication is documented. But how does one do that when you are imparting education in a class. Yes, of course there is the lesson plan to follow. There are worksheets set. There are textbooks and there are notebooks to mark the progress of a class. But is that really enough?

When a teacher is assessed, I have often wondered, what is it that they look for? Do they want someone who knows a lot about the subject? Or do they want someone who knows enough about the subject so as to be able to explain it well to middle school children?

Is it about the worksheets and notes? Is it about interactive classes or is it about being nice to the students to win their confidence? Or is it about being strict with them to make them regular in their work?

In my opinion, it is all about the balance. Just like we do with our own kids, the students in school need to be treated with respect and love. No harshness doesn’t mean being lenient. It just means that work can be done by being strict, but not by being mean.

During my previous stint as a teacher, I was so busy with the documentation work that I rarely got time to spend time chatting with the students. Even when I was a class teacher, the workload was so much that I used to barely get time to get the attendance done and circulars or cash collection done during the class teacher’s period. During my teaching periods, I had to complete the syllabus. So it was basically a rat race back then. I would come home to two young children who needed my undivided attention and the struggle would continue.

Now that my kids are bigger, I am not as tensed as before. I can plan and do my work on time. The result is that I can make time to converse with the students that I teach Value Education to. At least once a week, I spend time with them, I observe them and I learn from them.

My values are being added to with lesson I teach them. I wonder why then is this subject so hated by all…

A Free Write


I haven’t the faintest idea why I have embarked on this mission today. I am not able to blog these days. It is driving me crazy. I get email updates when my friends blog and it irritates me because I am not able to do so myself. Then I hear that November is the month to get back to writing. To that , add the magic words “500 words”. I am a fan of such short post challenges that don’t expect much from you other than just writing 500 words a day. How difficult can that be?

I speak a lot to people these days. My talks with myself thus reducing with each passing day. That is what this blog is all about. Me speaking to myself. Yes, I am self obsessed that way!

When I read about My500Words at Write Tribe , I knew that this was it. I need something like this to blog again. So here I am, doing a free write. Just letting the world know that I pledge to write for 31 days.

I am guessing the prompts are going to come into my email everyday. Thus, pushing me to write for the day. I hope so. I really need that reminder to go on.

Facebook is a long lost dream now. So no joining groups for a while. Maybe when I sit up and write continuously for a few days and get into the habit of it, I shall consider using facebook groups again.

Yes, I am thinking out loud. This is a free write remember!  Being a teacher, my mind is always busy planning something or the other. So why not plan my blogging too. Writing 500 words a day can’t be difficult at all. Considering there is so much happening these days for me to share.

My job keeps me engaged, my kids keep me on my toes and my writing keeps me sane. Yesterday , I wrote the first few scenes of a screenplay for a movie making competition. I needed to give a sample of a script to the students to work on. They need to work on different story lines based on the few scenes I have written. That is when it struck me. I miss writing. I miss it a lot. My English might not be perfect, my technique might not be right. But I love to write. That is a good sign isn’t it?

There is a story that I started on this blog a few weeks ago. I haven’t been able to give it a part two so far. Maybe I will continue with that. Maybe I will write one  short story a day. Maybe I will just ramble through the 500 words everyday. That is the beauty of this. There is no theme, no restrictions. I just need to write 500 words about anything.

There is so much joy in writing, only now do I realize how important blogging is to me. I will try and be regular. My word count is at 510 now. And here I stop for the day…

Why do I still have this blog?

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There are times when I want to say something to the world. There are times when my feelings need to be expressed. There are times when I just need to talk, not bothering about whether I am being heard or not. I am not a professional blogger. I blog for fun and I always have. I have changed domains and self hosting and done a lot of research on blogging platforms purely because I love doing it. I love the idea of blogging, I love the idea of connecting, I love the idea of expressing, I love the feeling of being a blogger.

I got rid of my Photograph blog and Photography Page a few weeks ago. It was long overdue. In the life that I am leading now, stuck between home and work  due to various reasons, I do not have the opportunity to take my DSLR out. In fact at this very moment, I do not even know in which corner of my house the DSLR is in. That is the situation I am in right now.

Blogging has helped me through a lot in life. I have made online friends who have remained only as online friends for a very good reason. I am not a very social person in person. I love my loneliness and my privacy too much, I guess. But I am in no way anti social. Maybe that is the reason this blog survived my wrath and is still functional. The fact that I had only 101 comments in my Spam folder after all these weeks is a proof that my blog is literally dead.

But I am not giving up. No way. I have so much more to say. So much more to contribute. So much more to share. But now, my family needs me more. So writing is taking a back seat now. But I am sure once my children fly the coop, my writing , blogging and photography will continue in full swing. Till then I need to nurture every spare moment I get with my kids. Life is too short to completely ignore the blog for such long periods of time. So, I have decided to post something or the other on this blog at least once a week.

Something that can be shared, needs to be shared. I am going to find time to share my thoughts before my talks with myself die a slow death. I want to keep that communication line open. Between me and my inner thoughts.

Hope to see you around.

P.S : It feels so good to blog again. I missed it sooooooo much. 🙂


A few Issues


I have been wanting to do a  rant post for sometime now. But I will refrain from doing that. The rant will contain a few unpleasant words and I want to keep my blog a “child safe” or a “U” one. Yes, my family knows that I blog and where I blog. They just don’t find the time to read and comment. So much for family support and all!

Speaking of family support, I have been taking time off from house work and battling a headache to blog and blog hop. No, I am not forcing myself to do it. I love to do it. But then the family doesn’t seem to understand that with great responsibility comes great commitment! I can’t blog often because of a whole lot of issues. The net connection konking off as and when it wishes is number one on the list. The kids have exams going on and I barely get any alone time at home now. That is number two on the list. “I want food”, “I want water”, “I need silence so no TV and no talking ma”. These are number three on the list.

I am joining a school as a teacher on the 23rd of this month. So the paperwork and visits to the institution and meeting the HR department, were happening the past few days. The amount of time people make you wait is crazy. I am glad I have developed patience over the past few years. That is fourth on the list by the way.

I am traveling on the 13th night to Kerala for my niece’s wedding. So I am busy with the tailors and shopping. The tailor had the audacity to stitch a wrong border on a wrong blouse. Now I need to take them back to him in the evening. There are 6 different functions for this wedding. So you can imagine the clothes and the accessories for the same. That too not just for me, but for my daughter too. I had told the boys to manage their own kurtas and Mundus. There is a limit to the amount of organising a person can do! But I ended up doing it for them too! That is number five on the list.

A change in routine brings on a migraine and stress headaches. I should be used to this by now, but how does one get used to headaches that leave you absolutely useless for the rest of the day! Can’t blog, can’t read and sometimes can’t even sleep! This is reason number six on the list.

Well well! What do you know? It was a rant post after all. And the longest post I have written in months. Phew! The devil in me is trying to peek out into the open. I am putting it back to sleep and keeping my calm. Breathe in , Breathe out, Forgive and Forget!

It is a free write today at the Festival of Words Day 3 @ Write Tribe.

I'm taking part in the Write Tribe Festival of Words -3