Elaborate

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It amazes me how people believe that everything that happens to them is a part of God’s elaborate plan.

Don’t get me wrong, I am just as religious and spiritual as the next guy. But I don’t believe in leaving everything in His/Her hands. Isn’t there a famous phrase that states something to that effect.

God helps those who help themselves…

Of course, what happens to us cannot be controlled, that’s for sure. But how we react to them is in our hands. We spend most of lives trying to learn how to do that well. Some people learn it earlier than the others. Others take time to understand and accept this.

Life presents us with tests, and just like in every other test, we are faced with bigger and harder tests as we clear and conquer the ones before. The difficulty level always depending on our previous responses.

Maybe if we stop handling such tests so well and mastering them, then maybe, just maybe, the tests will be simpler and easier. I think that would solve the problem of living a tough life. The easier life, though not so eventful, can give you a sense of relaxtion and happiness in its routine nature.

God tests those he loves…

It is best to remember that we are going through a tough time now because God thinks that we can handle it. He/She has that trust in us. It is upto to us to live up to that expectation. Ignoring and living with a problem is the other choice, of course.

When the going gets tough, the tough get going…

According to me, living one day at time is a better approach than looking at the whole big picture. The picture can last for a longer time in memories, I agree. But the emotions and behaviours of our daily lives leave us embedded in hearts and souls forever. Don’t you think so?

Again , the choice is ours…

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He loves me , he loves me not

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Maybe Yes No Keys Representing Decisions

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She loved that bag of chips. She loved the tintin comic she was reading. She loved the coco cola she was sipping on. The hostel room door was left open for the rest of the girls to feel jealous of her “happy bubble”. She seems so much at peace, she seems so much in love. She seems so much in possession of all her faculties. The scene from any romantic chickflick. This girl was busy making decisions while the others prepared for their finals.

Anyone who knew her well would understand the tension and the worries that clouded her psyche. The challenge that her mind is going through. The questions she is asking herself and the answers she is coming up with all by herself. Sometimes many confusing answers to the same simple question. Does he love me? Why is he being vague about his feelings?

That thin line between like and love. That thin line between sanity and insanity. The thin line between the two vastly different choices she has to make. A perfect life or a blissful one. A tough choice for anyone to make. A difficult decision for a 21 yr old. The uncertainity of her own feelings, the vagueness of the reciprocated feelings and the plethora of worries for the future ahead.

The coke, the chips, the comic and the blissfulness. She is now thinking of ways to make her perfect life blissful or try and make her blissful future perfect. The bubble bursts at some point. Sometimes letting others make decisions for you might not be a bad idea. Sometimes, decisions can be right and wrong at the same time. Why the choice? Why can’t she have both?

Masterpiece

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It wasn’t a very bright morning. The dullness of the weather outside resembled the gloom that prevailed inside her.

She sat at her desk and looked out of her hotel room window. Writing comes naturally to her, no that’s not the problem. She wasn’t worried about her publisher’s deadline. Master storyteller she was. At least that’s what her friends and relatives praised her for. She weaved imaginative stories of demons and witches. Her stories often followed a standard path of intro, event, revenge, and conclusion. The details found in her characterizations have often contributed to her story writing skills. The facial expressions, the viscousness, the anxiety, the pain, the horror and the final retributions. It all added a finesse to her storyline.

She knows she just needs to start writing and the faces and events from her dreams will come alive on her laptop screen. It will become a story for the world to read and enjoy. She knows those demons and witches are a figment of her imagination. Those gory details certainly were.

But only she knows that the storyline and the characters are all too familiar to her. She weaves a fine tale around them while reliving the agony of her nightmares. The insecurities, the anxiety, the horrors, the hidden emotions inside her. All out there for the world to read. Yet no one understands them. No one understands the cry for help.

She turns to her keyboard and starts typing. Praying with all her heart that this would be her last nightmare. Even if it meant that it would be her last masterpiece.

True Light

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On a gloomy day,
A hope awakens,
A sad sad moment,
Has been forsaken.

A morning bloom,
A shining dew,
On a happy note,
Hope’s anew.

Breathe with ease,
Have no fear,
Life is good,
Good times are near.

Thus heart’s desire ,
Shy, yet bright,
The love in me,
Shines like true light.

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It is a link up to Leo’s and Reema’s #WednesdayVerses.

Fading Smile

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Smile is like a sweet pain,
A game that sadness plays,
Reminds me of the days bygone,
And that there is more pain on the way.

As days, months and years go by,
A trial resurrects anew,
A smiling happy life today,
I will try my best to ensue.

A resolution is needed,
It’s a sad thing I know,
Keep smiling , keep sharing,
Happiness will grow.

No year has yet proven me wrong,
Hope this year gets it done,
When one smile leads to another,
And pains bother no one.

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I haven’t done this in a while. Here is the first creative product of 2018. It is a link up to Leo’s and Reema’s #WednesdayVerses.

It has been a while…

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My blog tells me that it has been 5 months since I wrote something here. I guess it is time to start writing again. If only planning to write , wanting to write and writing were all easy to do as they used to be.

Collecting thoughts and putting them down on paper (ahem) isn’t easy anymore. There is so much to say, so much I should not say and so much more that should have been said a long time ago. 

But one has to restart somewhere. Let it be now and let it be here. At the moment that I am still sad that my first born is not at home anymore , yet happy and proud of the man he has turned out to be. He has flown the coop . He is happy at a college in the US. This moment is precious to me. I just realized he misses home. I also just realized how selfish I am!

Let the feeling sink in, I keep telling myself. It hasn’t yet. He is still a child. He still behaves the same. He still is the same. I know it is wishful thinking to hope that he will always remains the same.

I started blogging when my kids were small and blogged through their teenage. In this new phase as a college mom, I am not sure what to blog about anymore. Until I figure out what to write about, I am leaving you with something that’s close to my heart these days :

Missing someone is bad enough, but being missed feels even worse…