It has been a while…

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My blog tells me that it has been 5 months since I wrote something here. I guess it is time to start writing again. If only planning to write , wanting to write and writing were all easy to do as they used to be.

Collecting thoughts and putting them down on paper (ahem) isn’t easy anymore. There is so much to say, so much I should not say and so much more that should have been said a long time ago. 

But one has to restart somewhere. Let it be now and let it be here. At the moment that I am still sad that my first born is not at home anymore , yet happy and proud of the man he has turned out to be. He has flown the coop . He is happy at a college in the US. This moment is precious to me. I just realized he misses home. I also just realized how selfish I am!

Let the feeling sink in, I keep telling myself. It hasn’t yet. He is still a child. He still behaves the same. He still is the same. I know it is wishful thinking to hope that he will always remains the same.

I started blogging when my kids were small and blogged through their teenage. In this new phase as a college mom, I am not sure what to blog about anymore. Until I figure out what to write about, I am leaving you with something that’s close to my heart these days :

Missing someone is bad enough, but being missed feels even worse…

Being Hurt

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Being hurt is a sign of being human. Maturity should not take that from us.

   

When we are in a situation that has no solution, what can we do? 

I saw an ad recently issued in public interest about men and crying. It seems it  is something that has been grilled into boys for generations. 

Boys don’t cry!  Ladke rote nahi hai!

My first born is a boy and oh boy , the way he cried just after birth. His cries have kept me awake for nights together when he had the hernia and he couldn’t express what was hurting him. 

My husband cried the day our son was born. He cries when he sees any of us in pain. It’s a natural feeling to be hurt or to cry. Gender has nothing to do with it. Neither does age or maturity. 

It’s all about how much of a human we are. The daughter and I are a bit too human that way. Some insensitive people call us “too” sensitive. We are proud of it though! And no, we were not “taught” to cry because we are women. 

Yes, I am hurt. I am not embarrassed to express it. My life isn’t what I wanted it to be. I am not all what I could have been. 

I never thought being a mother would make me want to not want anything more in life. But it did. Even though it hurt every step of the way. The hurt of seeing my children grow. The hurt of them preparing to start a new life. The hurt of the first few harsh words that teenagers use. I have been there , done that and I have a few grey hairs and wrinkles to prove it. 

I see pregnant ladies in parks and malls and wonder if they have any idea how dramatically their life is going to change. The second child adds to that equation, the complexity of being “fair” and of equality. It never a ends, the battle against hurt. Yet we embrace each new hurt with a smiling face. We are only human. Humans that need love, care, understanding and a reason to continue living.

Laugh when you feel happy, cry when emotions overwhelm you.

That’s what life is all about. The simple essence of it. The essence of being ourselves. About being open to hurt and gaining the ability to overcome that pain. We mature, we learn, we grow. 

It is our world !

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I had been staring at a blank screen for hours in the morning while I was trying to churn out a post for today’s prompt until I finally gave up! I am not a feminist by any standards. I just believe in equality in everything. Men and women have equal contribution in this life and the wheels of life move ahead only when the two are in sync. Unless of course if we learn to create clones of ourselves or like they say in the serial “Almost Human”, create perfect chromes of ourselves, we are still entitled to equal share in this world.

How the disparity happened? How the social status of the woman got reduced to nothing? How inhuman crimes against women began? These are questions that I do not know the answers to. To tell you the truth, I am done with pointing fingers and trying to find someone to blame for the state of women in this world. It could have been mean women or meaner men. The key word here being “mean”.

What I would like everyone to focus on is on educating men and women about respecting every individual they interact with. Irrespective of caste, creed, religion or sex. They need to be taught to be kind to the people around them. They are to build a family of their own someday. They are to produce the next generation that will take over our places and run the administration of this world. If the adults are educated in this respect, the kids automatically get to learn this. And with this the crime and atrocities can be reduced. This, in my opinion, is the only way to solve the issue.

It is not a “man’s world” or a “woman’s world”. It is “our” world. And to protect this world, the education must begin at home.

1. Marriage minimum age must be increased to 24 for men and women. At least by then, the person has an idea what he/she wants to do with his/her life. They would have completed graduation and had a chance to make their own living even. Making every person , man or woman, self reliant is the first step.

2. Once the decision to have a child is made, other things like who is going to care for the child, who is going to take time out from work to tend to the child should be planned well ahead. This makes the planning of the child and its care giving much easier and stress free.

3. Financially sound family only can give a safe haven and a balanced home to a child. It is better to wait till your finances are sorted out and some money has been saved.

4. Life , although most don’t want to agree, is about giving life to a new generation of abled and responsible citizens. If you can’t manage to create more than one responsible citizen because of time and finance situation, stick to having just one child. Give the child all you have, in terms of education, sensibility and time.

5.  Nobody should be judged if they decide not to have children. It is an investment too and getting into it should be done with proper planning and thought only. Nobody should be forced to have kids just because it is considered the norm!

These are just 5 points that I think every young adult should be made aware of. Times are changing, world is changing, it is time to change some of the norms and move ahead in life.  Let us protect “Our World” and make it a better place for everyone , men and women alike. Let us inspire change in ourselves and the people around us. Let the ripple effect begin. The outcome can only be better anyway.

We don’t need a day to celebrate ourselves, but we do need a day to remind ourselves of our responsibilities towards future generations. Maybe a day like this can be used to unite the people of the world into making a happier world for all. Maybe one changed person at a time even.

Written for the Festival of Words 3 Day 7 @ Write Tribe : International Women’s Day 2014 theme – Inspiring Change

I'm taking part in the Write Tribe Festival of Words -3
International Women's Day

International Women’s Day

Acknowledgement

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Festival of Words

Festival of Words

Is that the same shirt you were wearing yesterday, son? I gathered my courage to ask him. Yes! Came the uninterested reply. The fact that I had placed that shirt in the laundry basket myself this morning along with a set of used socks and sweater ,that I gathered from the bed in his room, had no impact on him!

It is futile expecting the kids’ rooms to be perfect during exams. At least there was no leftover food or sticky stains anywhere to wipe off! Thank you mom, came a loud roar from his room. Music to my ears.

Written for the Second Festival of Words at Write Tribe – Day 4 – Music.

vecchio libro con stilografica

NaBloPoMo December 2013

Chapter 31 : The reunion

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You might want to read the previous chapters of Falling Apart before reading this chapter.

The reunion

The reunion

The much awaited weekend had finally arrived. The girls couldn’t contain their excitement. They had never seen the new house that their father and brother had rented till now. It would be a nice experience. The visitation days always left the kids with only either of their parents around. Sometimes if the kids had a camp to attend or some other event planned, they would miss out on the opportunity to see each other. It had been nearly a year since the entire family shared a meal together!

Sad how situations change so drastically is such a short period of time. But today was not meant for feeling sad about anything. Each and every member of this family was all set to enjoy this reunion as much as it was possible too. They were so excited about it that the email exchanges had turned out to be quite emotional among the kids. The three kids used to chat often with each other and they were indeed as close as ever emotionally. But being able to spend time with each other in person was indeed something to look forward to. 

Their parents were loveable people when dealt with separately. But when they met , things changed for the worse. Even though the intensity of the anger had reduced over the year, their parents weren’t exactly friends anymore. Friendly terms, yes, for the sake of the kids, but friends, no. This was strange for the kids to witness. They had grown up watching the friendship and love between their parents. Relationships can be complicated indeed. The three children had matured a lot in the past year. The divorce had brought the children closer to one another too. Their parents’ anxiety and their anger were no longer a frustration for them. Between them they would always talk about getting the parents together again. They knew that their parents were incomplete without each other. They just needed a way to make their parents realise this. Somehow!

The girls were dressed up and ready even before their mother was that morning. They then pushed for their grandmother to get ready quickly too. Their mother had to make a stop at the bakery to pick up the cake before heading for their destination.

***

Finally the girls were behaving like giggling teenagers again, thought Shreya. She held on to her mother’s hand as their group of four headed towards the door. The girls had gifts in their hands. One for their father and one for their brother, the ones they picked up from their mother’s wardrobe. 

It was indeed a happy reunion for the kids. The grandmother got busy with hugging and kissing her grandson to her heart’s content. Shreya’s eyes were moist when she looked around for Nayan. His eyes were moist too at the sight of the reunion. He was holding a gift in his hands. Shreya walked towards him with the cake box in her hand.

They stood facing each other for a few moments. Both unable to say anything. Shreya opened her cake box and titled it for Nayan to see. Iced on it were the words “I am sorry”. This brought about an unusual reaction on Nayan’s face. A smirk , a crooked smile, a “I told you so” smile? She wasn’t sure. 

Nayan then unwrapped his gift and placed it in Shreya’s arms. It was a cute white teddy bear, with a red heart in its hands that said in white “I am sorry”.

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And this concludes the 31 Part Short Story ” Falling Apart ” , that I wrote as a part of the Ultimate Blog Challenge and for NaBloPoMo.

Thank you for your support and encouragement dear readers. Without these , I would have given up a long time ago. Even though I am supposed to feel happy that I managed to complete the challenge and the story, this end has left me feeling a bit sad. I was enjoying making up this story one post a time. I hope to try this once again someday soon! BEWARE! 😀

Picture Courtesy : wrestlingdvdnews

NaBloPoMo October 2013

Chapter 30 : A Party

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You might want to read the previous chapters of Falling Apart before reading this chapter.

A Party

A Party

When Rhea and Shikha came back from tuitions, they were surprised to find their mom already at the dining table sipping her cup of tea. That’s two days “home early from office” in a row. This cannot be good they thought as they gave each other that “oh no!” look. They dumped their bags on the sofa and sat down at the table in front of their milk and snacks. 

Rama joined her daughter and her grand daughters at the table with her cup of tea too. She too was clueless as to what was on Shreya’s mind. Even though all of them were quiet, everyone knew what the other was thinking about. Shreya’s state the previous evening had not been explained to them. The kids were dying to know what happened.

Shreya tells them about the promotion and how yesterday she had got the letter of confirmation and she had planned to celebrate it. She told them the reason their father had cancelled the plan of joining them yesterday. The girls looked more sad than ever at this point. They were afraid if they would ever see their brother again!

What Shreya said next put them at ease. She said as per visitation rights, she was due to meet Nischal this weekend. And their father’s meeting with them was also due. Shreya had fixed it up with Nayan to meet up for a lunch party at his house. She had spoke to Mina and told her decorate Nayan’s home. She would arrange the food to be brought over. She thought it would be nice if Nischal had good memories of family togethers in his new home. 

The atmosphere in the home changed instantly. The girls were already hugging their mother and telling her that it was a brilliant idea. They were already chatting about what to wear for the party as they made their way to their room.  

Shreya turned towards her mother, who was staring at her for quite some time. Shreya got up and went towards her and hugged her tightly. Rama couldn’t control her tears anymore. The strength that her daughter was showing was something that she herself lacked. Shreya was indeed more like her father. He always had a solution for everything!

The mother – daughter duo spend a few minutes in silence. Both were unable to speak. Words sometimes don’t do justice to the feelings. This was one such moment for them. Saying something would have ruined the moment  for sure. It was Rama who broke the silence and started to clear the table as she wiped her tears away. Shreya picked up her mobile to make arrangements for the lunch party. Smiling and wiping off tears at the same time.  

Life does throw challenges at us at every turn. She needed to face them as boldly as she could. Her family, her career, their future everything depended on her decisions too. However trivial the decisions maybe, they always have a good impact, if the intentions are good. 

***

Nayan was surprised at the lunch party idea that he had just been informed about. He was working from home that day and he was able to share it with Nischal then itself. Shreya had got busy talking to Mina after informing him the details. Nischal’s face had brightened up at this news. Looking at his son now, Nayan realized that his fever would subside soon too. 

Nischal was already making plans as to how to welcome his sisters to his new home. The father- son duo were smiling more than they had in the past year as they planned on what gifts to buy for the girls.

To be Continued……

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I am planning a 31 part story this month. (God bless me and my readers) 😀

Please wish me luck….

As a part of the Ultimate Blog Challenge and for NaBloPoMo

Picture Courtesy : The Goddess Blog