Being Hurt

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Being hurt is a sign of being human. Maturity should not take that from us.

   

When we are in a situation that has no solution, what can we do? 

I saw an ad recently issued in public interest about men and crying. It seems it  is something that has been grilled into boys for generations. 

Boys don’t cry!  Ladke rote nahi hai!

My first born is a boy and oh boy , the way he cried just after birth. His cries have kept me awake for nights together when he had the hernia and he couldn’t express what was hurting him. 

My husband cried the day our son was born. He cries when he sees any of us in pain. It’s a natural feeling to be hurt or to cry. Gender has nothing to do with it. Neither does age or maturity. 

It’s all about how much of a human we are. The daughter and I are a bit too human that way. Some insensitive people call us “too” sensitive. We are proud of it though! And no, we were not “taught” to cry because we are women. 

Yes, I am hurt. I am not embarrassed to express it. My life isn’t what I wanted it to be. I am not all what I could have been. 

I never thought being a mother would make me want to not want anything more in life. But it did. Even though it hurt every step of the way. The hurt of seeing my children grow. The hurt of them preparing to start a new life. The hurt of the first few harsh words that teenagers use. I have been there , done that and I have a few grey hairs and wrinkles to prove it. 

I see pregnant ladies in parks and malls and wonder if they have any idea how dramatically their life is going to change. The second child adds to that equation, the complexity of being “fair” and of equality. It never a ends, the battle against hurt. Yet we embrace each new hurt with a smiling face. We are only human. Humans that need love, care, understanding and a reason to continue living.

Laugh when you feel happy, cry when emotions overwhelm you.

That’s what life is all about. The simple essence of it. The essence of being ourselves. About being open to hurt and gaining the ability to overcome that pain. We mature, we learn, we grow. 

Whatever Happened to Love?

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I had a conversation with my daughter a few days ago ( as compared to the shouting matches we generally have). She wanted to know if I was ever in love before I got married. The conversation was obviously about Love and Relationships and all that humbug about who is “with” whom in school. There was a time when this was an issue only with college students or at least high school girls and boys. But I am noticing this between children below the age of 14. Really? You decide whom you want to spend your entire life with at the age of 14?

I got hitched when I was 21 years old, and although I did make the right choice , at that point in time, I was not sure if I was ready for such a commitment! And at the age of 14? 14? And this is a serious issue that actually needs to be discussed with your mother!

I am a teacher too. I have seem how my colleagues react to linkups that happen in middle school nowadays. In this day and age, why do we still cling on to link ups and affairs?  Why can’t there be friendship between boys and girls and just leave it at that!

I asked her to make a list of Pros and Cons of having a boyfriend. The list contained, the “getting noticed”, the popularity, the “coolness” factor. The best feelings that any teenager can hope for. The cons column was empty. She wasn’t sure what to put in there.

Time getting wasted chatting and dreaming, the heartbreak that follows and how it will effect studies, the unwanted attention, the gossips, the jealousy, the break up. Each of these causes a roller coaster of emotions in us. That added to the adolescent changes can bring about disasters of the worst kind. Some even ending their lives because of the embarrassment.

Just remain friends with everyone. Get to know your friends. Discover what traits that you like in others. Develop them in yourself. Create an identity for yourself first. Then and only then, give a chance for love to step in. Anything that makes you jump into mistakes is not love , it is just an infatuation. Let those slip by until your mind is ready to understand and accept the real thing.

Nothing had happened to love. It is still very much there. It is just highly misread and misunderstood these days.

Are you Cunning me?

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It looks like I have given importance to negative emotions more in this list. But what can one do when the world is filled with such negativity?

Maybe knowing the signs and symptoms of such emotions can help us lead a happier life. We are then equipped with enough knowledge to ignore things that we can’t change.

What we can do is remain happy by seeking  happiness within us rather than in the approval of anyone else!

And yes, we continue…


 C is for Cunning

Is it winning or losing?
Is life a game?
Love of the truth,
Or shortlived fame?

You deceived me, 
Despite my love,
You deceived yourself,
And the God above.

Happiness is not a winning,
It is a feeling from within,
It can’t be gained,
From being so cunning.

Be true to self,
Be true to others,
Deception is a flaw,
Which has no takers. 

~~ Jyothi Nair – 22nd Feb 2014 ~~

A to Z

Pic Courtesy : Kingdom of Style

Feeling Betrayed

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This emotion is the strongest and the most dangerous of all. The stronger the relationship, the harder and longer the heartache is. But everyone survives it and comes out as a better person and with a better person.

I am not a saint, but world is my temple and love is my God. Shall we continue?


B for Betrayal

I sensed somehow,
A fragrance unknown,
A sparkle in the eye,
A new smile that is born.

You are promised to me,
In heart and soul,
Till death do us apart,
Or so I am told.

There is no love,
When there is doubt,
There is no gain,
When there is no trust.

There is no solace,
Once the mind has strayed,
I fear more than death,
To have to feel so betrayed.

~~ Jyothi Nair – 20th Feb 2014 ~~

A to Z

Pic Courtesy : Kingdom of Style

When a heart breaks…

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valentines_contest

It comes naturally,
For those in love,
To cherish someone,
Who love them too.

It takes more,
It takes much more,
To love someone,
Who is new to you.

You see a stranger in tears,
At the park bench today,
It doesn’t take much,
To send smiles their way.

Each pain I hear,
Ends up as a tear,
With every care,
I try to cheer.

With every cheer,
My heart bleeds more,
I can only hope,
That the hurts disappear.

With every hope,
It makes me wonder,
Do I go looking for pain?
To become a saviour?

A bit of love,
A pleasing word,
A bit of passion,
To soften the wound.

A little compassion,
Is all it takes,
To hear, see and feel,
When any heart breaks.

Written for The Language of Love Contest at Write Tribe.

We are grateful to our friend, Vishal Bheeroo for inspiring us to choose this quote. Thanks, Vishal!

Aloofness

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Aloofness

Aloofness

It doesn’t take much to make her happy. All she needs is a happy smile and a warm hug. But not all are accustomed to give her that sense of belonging. Yet, her expectations are high.

Her family never believed in public display of affection. That didn’t mean that there was no love amongst them. It just meant that there wasn’t a necessity to flaunt that love to all and sundry.

Endearing messages on Facebook amongst family members or friends makes her wonder. Is their life perfect? If she only knew their truth.

Aloofness is sometimes a blessing in disguise.

Written for the 100 words on Saturday at Write Tribe

Today’s prompt is from Shilpa Garg of ‘A Rose Is A Rose Is A Rose:

A blessing in disguise

100 Words on Saturday - Write Tribe
Picture Courtesy : Plan2Life